Having a random hookup so left but love u
Soo i just shotgunned a water balloon...
she's basically destroyed all of the faith i had that skinny blond girls could be a functioning part of society.
i just woke up and its 10 o'clock and the words "Robbies Fave Restraunt" and written in sharpie above my vage. Help me.
I just won 10 dollars from out chugging the bar tender and I found out that the baby aint mine in the last hour. I don't even care if l get laid tonight any more.
He told me he loved me mid lick. Anyone that can look at me from that angle, lick my vagina, and say they love me must absolutely mean it
test run with donkey pinata disastrous. broken glass and tequila EVERYWHERE
I think I may be stoned foreverrrrrrrrr. The earth has been around for a long time.
How interesting! I'm adding this to my list of things to discuss with you between fucks.
I successfully convinced a drunk NDSU student that their school does not have a football team and another that they weren't in Fargo. I'm a dangerous sober shark in a sea of drunks.
Your roommates will be treating you to many anecdotes about my intentions to have aggressive sex with you. I'm sorry in advance.
My mom always wanted to raise a classy lady, it just turned out to not be her daughter.
So I've decided that blue balls for lesbians is rainbow balls and the struggle is real
I'm worried my dog collar isn't going to come in time. I might be trying on dog collars at PetSmart next week. That could get awkward.
I think people are normalizing furries
Randomize
