He was trying to put his hand up my shirt but I remembered the coke was stashed in my bra so I moved his hand to my pants
Sex and the city 2 and twilight getting released in the same month. God hates mankind.
I just wanted to let you know I just licked gravy off of my boobs. Just putting that out there.
Well I tried to steal a golf cart. I fought with the Chick-Fil-A cow. And other things.
I just remember making out with this kid's friend, washing blood off my hands and hearing the RA's were looking for me.
Check out this gay circle: I've now hooked up with my ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend, and most recently my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend's ex-fling.
Lights are FLASHING. This just got REAL. CAPTALIZATION.
Dude between pissing everywhere and all of those frogs, that bathroom got wrecked.
I just used a baby fork as a roach clip. I am totally the cool aunt.
I'm driving home wearing one sock, boxers, and a tee shirt. That's how good it was
Played never have I ever with high schoolers today. Needless to say they brought up threesomes so I had to make a judgement call and decided to not put my finger down
7% of guys ive been with can get me off... I did the math!
I don'y know if I should feel accomplished or disgusted. I just ate a dozen cookies all to myself. I'm leaning more towards accomplished.
Wait, how many people just saw my dick?
You don’t need a wing man if you have a solid hook up on the pumpkin pie
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