just took a cab, driver just asked what i'd been drinking- i said vodka, he said "can't do vodka-drunk, it makes me feel like i'm giving birth to myself" ...no comment
I kind of wish I was already fat. So I could eat all I want and not worry about getting fat. Cause I'd already be at that point.
My RA just tried to write me up for having sex too loudly during quiet hours.
Apparently I confessed my love for him last night. Also, my love for cash4gold commercials.
he's dressed up as pikachu 3 fucking years in a row and gotten laid each time. i don't understand
Listen, don't freak out when you walk out on me masturbating in front of my roommate. No homo. He just needs to be put to his place.
Sorry, I am not your wing girl tonight,. in my pjs, eating cereal from the box. Hell I only shaved the inside of my legs just so they wouldn't itch. Not happening.
Omg. I wanna lecture the drug dealer about how highschool should not be his glory days.
So apparently I ended up throwing my clothes in the toilet after getting kicked out of TQ and ran around the neighborhood in my boxers. Works gonna suck hard once this hangover kicks in. Also: I lost a shoe so looks like flipflops for the rest of winter
yea talk to her if you feel up to it. Just remember who you are
Oh shit sorry I just gave lion king advice sorry not mufasa
That broad from the bar put her name in my phone as "The girl I'm going to marry in 10 years".
HIS DICK IS GLORIOUS AND I WANT TO RIDE IT TO VALHALLA
I'm sorry, but the bed has won this battle. I got up, changed my shirt, combed my hair, put on some deodorant, and then looked at my bed and got back in
You were licking skittles to check if they were "halucinateizers" so no, you are not leaving the house while on antibiotics.
Only you would try street racing in a Volvo.
Randomize
