He looks like Jesus, if Jesus had let himself go.
I started drinking at 10.30am. Ive got a solid buzz, ive decided holidays are to be treated like gamedays
Too many people are naked here for this to be normal.
she tends to only attract lesbians and homeless men
Drinking with mariachis at jimmy johns.
thanks for being the calm eye of my shit storm.
on a scale of 1 to 'no sex' how busy are you this week?
How do you feel?
Like the devil himself shit me out, baked me into a pie, ate the pie, and shit me out again.
They conduct scientific research memoirs about what sort of shit happened last night after I ate those cookies.
That gas station is used for only two things, picking up moonshine and getting murdered. Only two outcomes.
You fed me pizza off a sword last night.
I'm back in the dating scene now... Since the legality issue calmed down. And my stalking charges were dropped.
So, Cheetos don't microwave great.
I'm eating cereal out of a cocktail shaker. That kind of blizzard.
I want to conceive our bastard child on an athletic field. Why can't we make this happen?
Randomize
