STOP acting like a freshman, you have a drivers liscence now AND a PERSCRIPTION for birth control. Dont give all sophmores a bad name. Woman Up
dude i just figured out that the tostitos sign is two people eating chips and salsa. being high totally pays off sometimes
A-plus on my thesis. I deserve the blowjob to end all blowjobs. And I wanna wear a crown while you do it.
Look, we all have our slutty phases. Mine is just forever.
I called him daddy. To his face. Somewhat sober. What more could I do?
College freshman give noticeably better blowjobs by the 5th week of the semester.
Classic dick move. Breaking up your buddies 3-some by coming into his room and doing the Harlem Shake.
Def over. He sent me a nude selfie but cropped it right above his junk. Total Silence of the Fucking lambs looking.
His 12 year old sister has bigger boobs than me and now that's all I can think about when we have sex
Incase you were wondering. Cooking naked turns into sex. Sex and cooking may lead to house fire....
He said he wanted to lick the breadcrumbs off my chest
Serious question, on a scale of go for it to what the fuck are you thinking, what's me going to a monk or any religious official and saying "baptize me daddy" in a serious voice?
I'm pretty sure I have PMS because I almost just cried about not being able to find a place that gives acrobat classes here.
Have you ever thought, hey maybe the reason we were togather that long was because I was drunk the whole relationship?
I'm drinking because I just started here and every single person I work with wants to quit and when I asked a coworker how she's doing she literally just started crying.
Randomize
