i just got a UPS package from a name and address i dont know, with one of my thongs in it. no recollection.
google image searching george stephanopoulos at 1 AM on a saturday night...once again
Ed hardy makes air fresheners now. Now even the air can be a douchebag.
i just went through and liked all 1,239 of her pictures instead of writing my english paper. don't tell her, i want her to be surprised
found POGS while I was cleaning my room this morning. Definitely bringing them back to school to turn into a drinking game.
He pulled a condom out of his satchel and i questioned my entire life.
What about.....a game of twister and....wait..nevermind. I've hit my cap for sexualizing things today.
This conversation has now reached a level of awkward that even a passerby streaking hobo couldn't break.
Also the McRib is back. Lets get high, dress like cowboys, and eat some McRibs.
The topic of sex in the jamba banana suit has come up on multiple occasions. We're just waiting for a moment to try it out.
National champion athletes like gay butt sex, too. I'm just here to help them out.
My dog and I just went outside to pee together.
last night I used snow as a chaser
sorry didn’t mean to call you, i was just trying to put the t-rex emoji beside your name
Got pulled over today for going 90 in a 40 zone with my leg out of the window. Still got out of the ticket. I'm getting way too good at this. Wanna trade bodies so we can see if it's my boobs or my charm?
Randomize
