4 words: hood of his car
Come in. Grab a controller and a beer. We've got some Madden to beat.
You're the best girlfriend ever.
Look at the bright side...I have an 11 inch penis
Sometimes i wish my penis was detachable that way i could take it off sometimes so i wouldnt get into these situations
i hate always having to make my eye shadow look really good since my eyes always end up closed by the end of the night in pics
Yeah someone just put a trash bag that says "use protection" on the snow penis
He just came into the room wearing nothing but a Speed Racer helmet. I think he just invented a fetish.
He left a trail of vomit straight from our dorm to the bathroom. Looks like we have our identities for the rest of the year.
Yeah. Rock bottom was him passing out and saying "are you putting a condom on me?" and me covering his mouth and saying shhhhh
to instagram or to not instagram the picture i took of when i shit in the urinal
Yes she was blowing me but I couldnt see her face. The only light was from the sparklers she asked me to hold. I love 4th of July.
STOP FUCKING TELLING PEOPLE ABOUT THAT TIME THAT GUY CAME ON MY FACE WHILE I WAS ASLEEP!!!
You're even getting laid in my dreams, god I'm a good wingman
Tequila shots and throwing it at a bell.
This is dumb. I'll keep doing it.
She complained to dominos last night for hanging up on her, and then she wrote "fuck you dominos" on the receipt when we got our pizza
So we are banned from the campus dominos
Randomize
