im watching my roommate bang this girl. she doesn't look like she's any good, because he has a bored look on his face...
You can't have hate sex in a hallway!!
I want to punch and suck your dick at the same time. I don't think we have the healthiest of relationships.
It's an open bar on a yacht... I'm going to drown.
It just gets louder and louder too...dear god. Her poor vagina.
I feel like wearing underwear would just be poor planning
Just received a visit from the Ghost of Bad Decisions Past. Kind of weird 90% of the flashbacks happened in the same sixteen month span, the rest happened at Taco Bell.
IT'S SUMMA TIME
ITS SUMMA TIME NOT BE HIGH ALL THE TIME TIME
THEY'RE THE SAME THING
It was like inception, a dream, in a dream, in the back of a dodge charger.
And I'm still awake, and you left me. Like the guy on Jurassic Park, that jumped out of the car expecting me to save myself while there is a man eating T-rex ready to tear my ass apart except theres a mathematician and paleontologist there to save me because they are bad asses.
Just because he told you it was safe doesn't mean you should have licked it.
Also mom is not happy about me telling her how much i want the women sprinters on the Olympics to beat me up
Dude, I got drunk and sexted his little sister by accident
Thanks a lot dude. I'm grateful to you for your gift of pure piss.
THERE ARE NO EMOJIS TO SHOW MY SEXUAL FRUSTRATION
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