Dude. I just woke up without a shirt or bra on. Apparently I fell asleep with a quesadilla in my mouth. I can feel my liver hating me.
you ran down to the water at 3am and rolled in the sand and ran around screaming that you were the corn dog monster.
Most fantastic sex ever until her Doberman took an interest in what we were doing. There was nothing more terrifying then feeling warm dog breath on my ballsack.
the girl next to me in class is drinking a margarita out of a slurpee cup. i know your going to ask how i know its a margarita and the answer is i can smell the tequila. i never want to leave this place
at least he left the skimmer on the side of the pool so i could fish out my thong in the morning
Ironically her ferret's toys look like her sex toys.....this is a whole new level of kinky for me
I just asked the dr if it was herpes while wearing my shirt from the strip club...
I told you to stay away from the strippers in Oklahoma
Couldn't see or hear that well because she hit me on the back of the head with a bat. That is my excuse. Also the gin.
There were slices of bread pasted to the wall with peanut butter this morning. I don't want to know
probably one of the worst weekends ever... i got peed on by his sleepwalking roommate.
Ultimate fat girl moment: I promised him my mouth for the night if he bought me a funnel cake..
I feel as if some line has been crossed, but only in this vague, WTF sort of way.
I pretty much just wake up, masturbate at least twice, and go to the beach. #Unemployed. I do look for jobs in between all that tho.
its like i just tried to scrub the hangover off of me.
Remember when we thought adulthood would be different than college?
It is different. We had hopes and dreams back then. Now we're just alcoholics.
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