The bars here don't close until 4!
my legs don't close until 4
I was totally willing to let her keep giving me blowjobs as long as she didn't think we were in a relationship.
just chased whiskey with a pickle. i definitely recommend it
Hahaha. I am actually really tight for having a kid. Like really really tight.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He googled "how long will i be drunk" and just started crying
Made it home ok. Only got hit by one car.
Mom just texted me to see if it was you who was streaking at the Mariner game... Did you accept yet another $1 bet?
About to go get a free burrito for kissing a bald man in public
Ok, so technically yes she wore a red tank top to the stoplight party. But under it was a yellow bra and green panties.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Okay, I just got to our real hotel and the YMCA may have been a better choice. A man w/ no shirt on
You slid down a wall, tried to pull your cast off and yelled that casts were too conformist.
He just pulled a Spanish chick using google translate!!!! We are at the bar and she speaks zero English. Hes a fucking magician!!!!!!
We watched playoff games and fucked so we could both see the TV. I've now found true love.
He showed up completely drunk with a 30 of PBR and ten cans of Spam. I like this kid.
I don't know what it is about this quarantine, but I have never written this much smutty fanfic in my life and I am loving it!
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