well thats why i like him. because he makes you happy. on the other hand i think he masturbates too much while texting you.
JoAnns office is warmer than mine. . .it must be because she has the gateway to hell under her desk.
Then you jumped off your bed with your arms outstretched, yelled "I'm Goliath, watch out New York!" and then began singing the Gargoyles theme song as you 'soared' around your room.
Don't be ridiculous, the Gargoyles theme song has no words. How could I sing that mess?
You just started going "da da da da da! da da da da da! DA DA!!" then going "swoosh" as you glided about.
I'm thinking we should try to start remembering stuff we do. Althought I kinda like feeling like Nancy Drew the next morning.
More like the Hardy Boys cause its kinda like a team effort.
The most interesting things happen to you when your pants come down. I truly envy you.
I also would have accepted most things ending in "job", erotic favors, and food.
She bit a glass in half.
At what point during this road trip should I let them know I've been drinking in the backseat the whole time and can't take my turn driving?
I've decided I'm gonna attack people with the toilet plunger.
i'm totally cool with all the dick sucking you're doing down there, but as your brother i think i'm supposed to warn you our parents will be home in 5
Omg. The news was on TV while I was giving him a bj...when the weatherman said its a beautiful start to December, he groaned and said it sure is.
He stood me up.
I'm no sure if I should be pissed or proud that he finally grew a backbone.
so the kid in line in front of me at walmart just bought roses and a Plan B pill. Happy Valentines Day.
Settled one third of the tab. Am going back for sex. Love you, make friends
You know you're getting old when you pick up hot sorority girls at the bar, and they write down their phone number, and under it 'we're great babysitters!'
Randomize
