people would bow to what i just did to her vagina
at least franzia made me throw up pretty colors.
I can't wait to see you, I've been doing mouth stretches for the past 2 days
its sad that I know 23 beers will fit into my purse
That gas station is used for only two things, picking up moonshine and getting murdered. Only two outcomes.
We are keeping it ultra classy drinking 40s and playing croquet with 90s rap blasting in the back ground
It's ok. I will share any beautiful men that I drug and leave unconscious on my bed. I'm that kind of friend.
Meanwhile I'm working a fucking flute workshop and I'm one high c away from shoving a flute up the asshole of the next passerby
You want to groom your chest hair? You mean with a little baby chest hair brush? Because that sounds adorable.
Ah well. Drinking wouldn't be drinking without mystery bruises
Agreed.
I've woke up with the same hoodie on backwards, twice this week. I think that's a record
i just woke up to her giving me a toothy BJ so I had to break into your bedroom and steal about 4 condoms. Sorry for waking you. :(
Is there such thing as a tasteful dick pic? I think I just got one if they exist.
Conversations really do change when your social worker had your dick in her mouth the other night.
Fuck it. I'm going for it. You're only young once, right?
You've been saying that for 5 years now. Let me know when the novelty wears off.
Randomize
