Only in college do people pre-game a meteor shower
I'm sorry but all I really read was "my nipples will get hard."
he asked me to hangout with him...and his son
I was so drunk that I didn't realize he was staying at the Waldorf. I walk of shamed the Astoria, do you even know what this means?
drunk old tina is grateful for 14 yr old tina for placing glow-in-the-dark stickers on my light switch...just avoided so many injuries
Nothing quite says Coachella like me doing high yoga in the middle of a field by myself
Promise me, at my funeral, you will re-enact our human sledding incident of 2011....you can use my dead body as said sled.
He just texted me saying "you've got a face that suggests you give really good head". Is this a compliment? Do I say thanks?
I accidentally called my professor daddy...and I think he liked it. Help, I'm scared.
I'm pretty sure NORMAL roommates don't have to hide each others sex toys from their fuck buddies.
Taking dicks and breaking hearts, no better life
I made him leave to get me chicken nuggets so I could have sex with his roommate
Sometimes I get confused on who I really actually know and who's lives I just know everything about via internet. Its a fine line
my face feels like mints and my body feels like tingles
It's only 3 AM. There's still time to get arrested today.
Randomize
