Will you take my knitting needle, stick it far up my nose, reach in my frontal lobe and give it a few swirls?
help me. he won't leave me alone. he just licked my ear and he's so drunk. get him off me. we're in the closet. help.
When you want to head down the cleveland on Sunday?
What time do the bars open? I dont want to remember how bad theyre gonna lose
I just found out you can file for divorce online. I love America.
he had a blacklight sublime poster, of course i had to do him.
Fuck, now I'm not only the other woman, but the pregnant one
Dude, I swear her tits are going to give me a concusion.
its not a holiday until ive ruined the family picture because im drunk
And I told him that even though were not together, if he has sex with anyone I would have sex with someone else, video tape it and send it to him.
I've been wearing the same clothes for 3 days and they're covered in franzia
I know it was a good night because I got a lecture from my roommates mom about stranger danger
I was just asked by a police officer to not come back to Lancaster...
Science requires me to take a picture of your nipples.
Do you really want to know anything about the inner machinations of a furry's mind
I think I was just recruited to join a religious lesbian cult by these 3 really pretty girls and I'm tempted to join
Randomize
