She makes me want to have breakfast margaritas every day
I just got kidnapped by the rugby team for a scavenger hunt. I'm "the girl you had sex with last night"
and then he proceeded to take what he called, a whip cream shower.
Seriously, in what other class can the final major discussion be what bar you're going to with your prof?
I'm missing some hair, but it's cool. Breadsticks are done.
You used up your allotted blow job minutes for the month of April last night anyways
New wedding record, my shirt was off by 8pm!!!
I need to establish a pattern of dominance early.... I'm like a slutty Cesar Milan
So your best guy friend eats your pussy once and a while, no big deal. It's like going to jiffy lube once and a while to let the professionals do it. Your husband should understand .
Why did I wake up with condoms on all my fingers?
Considering the girl you hooked up with, I'd be concerned about not having one on your penis.
So, seriously. How does it feel to know that you're riding a cock that was in kindergarten when you were going to prom?
And to add, there was a fat guy right next to me who, when the girls would shake their butts, he would let out a shrill xena warrior princess cheer
I just spent a solid 3 minutes trying to figure out how to send a smell through my phone
He used a trumpet as a funnel, said something about valve oil, and puked all over the garage.
You drank the pool water to get rid of your hiccups
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