Couldn't see or hear that well because she hit me on the back of the head with a bat. That is my excuse. Also the gin.
I woke up to him drunk-t-bagging me, saying "huevos rancheros" were being served for breakfast.
youre always welcome to strip dance on tables with me Mag. what are friends for.
She clicked her fingers, said "here boy!", and pointed at her vagina.
you stuck pieces of bread to your face with peanut butter and asked if it looked like you had a facial yeast infection.
ohhhh that's why they asked me to leave...
There really needs to be a redbox for wine because I want some but too lazy to walk into a store
Lets just say...I plan on being a bigger shitshow than Miley Cyrus at the VMA'S
I just want to be like i dont know you but ive seen your penis & i like it
I'm almost too old to be on The Real World but feel like I'm too young to be on The Bachelor and I'm just really confused with my place in life.
so as he was cumming he sort of growled with one eye squinted... for a moment there I thought I was fucking Popeye
is it too soon to tell him I'm available anytime for Christmas themed pity sex and I'll even wear a Santa hat?
apparently when we were gone the parents play strip connect 4
How likely is it that we can see each other tomorrow night? I want to shave my legs in good faith but it's cold outside and my bathroom is drafty.
Can't we just go back to fucking and having your boyfriend think you're completely straight?
My vagina just clenched in fear
Randomize
