Today at work while talking to my co-worker we both realized at the same time that last year I had a one night stand with his roommate and he was in the living room drinking coffee when I did the walk of shame. YAY.
It had been so long since my last time that it was easily a double helping of stomach pancakes. I think she was mildly impressed.
Why do I have peacock feathers super glued to my body?
dude just did a line with screech. dude is fucking creepy
A small child is toddling around the store, holding a coloring book and a shot glass. Thinking of you.
Well, I'm getting my ex-boyfriend to get me a z pack to cure the chlamydia I got from my married fuck buddy so that I can fuck one of my students.
5am update: in a toga seeing triple made out with both sexes
As we were about to go at it, his roommates barged in singing jumper by third eye blind. Weirdest almost one night stand ever.
He is so sweet! He thanks me for sending him dirty pix. I should keep him.
Packing a mid day bowl in the Sonic parking lot. Have I gone too stoner?
Before he left he told me if his girlfriend ever finds out, she'll take us both to an alley and kill us.
Dude, you stalking his LINKEDIN profile will NOT affect your chances with him. We aren't 40...
I have beer and butt plugs...pretty sure I will find a way to entertain myself while I wait
if I was a good friend this would be the time that i would remind you that you have a boyfriend
so you might not believe this but he made a powerpoint. and gave you a 3.5/10.
Randomize
