he calls his bong barack obonga, commander in kief. i found where i belong.
as they left, you opened the door, dropped your pants then yelled "don't leave, this is what you're missing"
they were having a wine tasting so i tasted every wine...then knocked over an entire display of gourmet olives and was asked to leave... but they still let me buy my 6 bottles of wine before escorting me out
I have been sober for so long that I miss hangovers... what is happening to this summer?
I just found a plastic cup with panties inside of it. Let's play CSI.
I'm gonna let my dick speak for itself from now on. Seriously, it's always recruiting for me even after 6 hours of drinking.
All in all only spent $2 at the bar ln... Fucking love having a vagina
We need to step up our tailgating...they're here drinking out of a prosthetic leg
If it makes you feel any better, I'm eating a block of cheese...
yeah, i'm probably gonna die. still gonna be totally worth it tho
I lick assholes and I wouldn't eat mdma
Lost my pants last night. Really need to stop taking shots of whiskey like I'm eating skittles.
never let me tell the bartender to cut me off, i basically told on myself
you were grinding on the cop whispering for him to lend you his tazer.
You where banging on the wall asking us where we hid the door...you then crawled under the deck thinking you'd be safe. I told you to eat the nachos before the party...I told you.....
Randomize
