Just passed a sign for an "adult food and fuel superstore". Wtf does that even mean?
im not sure but a few things come to mind which just makes me giggle
Guys should not giggle. Ever.
WAKE UP. GET ME THE PILL. AND SAVE MY LIFE
Noooo. We thought it would be funny for him to wake up buried in the sand. But we just remembered about the whole high tide thing and it's dark and it's pretty damn hard to find an unconscious head sticking out of the sand. Just help us out
If by "in control" you mean him showing-up to work wasted, calling a customer a "fuckstick," and getting fired on the spot? Then yes, he is.
Bought asot tix too. After Saturday I'm gonna be reborn like Jesus and no drugs until edc
So did I or did I not flash an entire concert last night?
I just hope I don't wheeze during sex
Please don't call my dad a fuckpuppet, I feel like that would be awkward to explain later.
My hungover walk of shame was interrupted by a stranger on a balcony throwing me a beer to shotgun... at 10 a.m....
Went home with a dude from UF last night. Just dripped chicken onto my phone and then licked it off. Going to pick up a bridesmaid dress. Mid 20s in a nutshell.
So, I without a doubt haven't used the bag I'm now carrying since we were dating. Just had to discreetly throw out an unopened magnum in a bus station.
He congratulated me by offering up free orgasms.. I told him I also had a birthday last month we needed to celebrate.. He was there in ten minutes.
Sorry for trying to baptize you last night
You knew the entire thing in Latin I was so impressed
The moral of the story is this:the last shot of the night is always a mistake
Alone, in the dark, eating tacos and drinking vodka. Who's apartment is this?
Randomize
