Give me one situation where peeing in your garage could be a bad idea
How are you feeling today?
i could've thrown up on command at any point today...
she just announced that once she was paid to deep throat a light saber with a mint flavored condom on it. i'm speechless.
Some fat girl belted her graduation gown. That is not a good look for anyone.
Just found the bucket list I wrote when I was high...somehow I dont think "jello swimming pool" is gonna happen.
I'm sweating while I eat mac and cheese. That fat.
i proceeded to stick my hands in his pants while he continued to repeat i have a girlfriend
you kept yelling "this bitch stole my phone" to the guy who found you passed out in the parking lot
I only wish the guy being lead around by his cock at the drag show was the weirdest part of my night.
I love you. Happy valentines. Satin Patricks dayyyyyyyyyy. Alreadythrew up. Geeeeerait.
Let's be honest. I make up for my well below average sized penis with a great personality and a possibly successful future
I can feel your movements against the shared wall we are leaning up against. It makes me feel as though we are one. Queue Pocahontas song...
If fixing it is ignoring it, and getting naked. Then yes we fixed it.
That broad from the bar put her name in my phone as "The girl I'm going to marry in 10 years".
Sooo, my mother is snoring, my ex is sexting me, the guy I'm having an affair with is sending me dick pics, and all I want to do is sleep!
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