Maybe I lied like you did about your herpes.
Free body shot off of Sarah. Expires never.
I was more concerned about the amount of mcdonalds fries on the floor around me than i was with my lack of clothes.
He went all Bachlorette on me.. "I just want to guard and protect your heart" bullshit
guy just got out of the car at the drive in and told his girlfriend "fuck you and your taco" and walked off
We are, if nothing else, classy enough to leave our 10 mini bottles of wine in a polite line on the floor of the movie theater.
just found a someones bra in what seems to be a mix of pickle juice and vodka in my fridge. Who was over here lately?
So when I eventually, if ever, find someone I'd like to marry, do you think having people fly to africa for a lion king themed wedding is too much?
You're tall, so I have high hopes for your dick.
I will have to bone him sometime between now and July so he will move all my shit again
I'm far too poor to be letting my hookups wear my shirts home. I'm down to about a total of 8 shirts and have no intention of buying more
Okay so how much boob would you consider inappropriate for smart casual?
Babe, Have you see my pants?
Try Jay street in Brooklyn.. that's where I last remember seeing them.
I think sunday funday got a little out of control. There is cheese slices and BBQ sauce all over the roof and 4 empty bottles of vodka in my room.
I often wonder if we’re introverted extroverts, but I don’t think so. I think we’re just easily tired scumbags
Randomize
