out of nowhere you said let us see your boobs, then proceeded to pull my shirt down.
i gets down
Well he asked to have a sober hang out so i guess that constitutes as a date in college
I don't know what's more sad having a rewards account at a liquor store or already racking up 273 dollar points since january
you can add "aspirated seaman" to the list of things your sister has been admitted to the hospital for
you pissed in the sink and didnt realize it until it was time to wash your hands
Due to our sore throats we are now doing bong hits with cranberry juice to sooth it.
I know everyone screamed lady cop instead of cops. I wanted to apologize to her for our chauvinism
please stop judging me for buying a handle of soco on a thursday at 10am. it was on sale, i'm thinking of my future.
Your last day of twenties? OK. Then I'll give you til midnight. Then you turn into a pumpkin. A big, 30 year old pumpkin.
He appeared on my 7th floor fire escape and sang to me and jimmy through the window when we fucked. He's like a drunken mix of Sinatra and Spiderman.
I should come with a disclaimer that reads "bad at relationships and defensive when confronted about it"
or maybe "WARNING: picks fights when bored"
Like I don't care that he's a drug dealer, but I have a problem with his inefficient and ineffective business model.
Is there a single word to describe 'the last guy she slept with before meeting her husband'? Cause there should be.
I'll get the most aesthetic strap on, you'll see
So you realized he wasn't actually cheating on you and now you're trying to unfuck things. Or in this case unfuck Tom.
Randomize
