I just walked by a ginger with a mullet. I repeat GINGER mullet. So help us God.
if my vagina gave out awards, he should be preparing acceptance speaches for the oscar, the heisman and the nobel peace prize.
The fish's death was accidental. We all said a few words at his funeral. Roomie wanted to play only the good die young as he swirled down the toilet bowl
My dealer threw in a "freestyle rap" today with my purchase. I dont know if I can handle this relationship.
Sitting in back of morning lecture drinking a daqueri from my pink unicorn cup. Pretty sure the girl next to me smells it.
Would it be sharing too much to tell you that my nipples hurt so much that I couldn't comfortably go down the stairs?
I need to find out this kids work schedule. I need mustache rides on my lunchbreaks.
Youll thank me when youre dead an dont have a cat eating your face
Well I'm sleeping with two of them cause they have nice cars. And the third cause she has a big rack. I'm just really waiting for it all to blow up in my face so I can find a girl I'm actually interested in
someone cut his neck open pretty bad with a broken beer bottle. We were so close to his house that we carried him home, but when we got there he casually laid on his bed and said he was just gonna sleep it off. WHO DOES THAT
God dammit. My lube leaked all over my passport
Ive already seen two fights and a clown urinating in the middle of the street. Hello Halloween 2014.
Dad danced on top of the bar with me last night. And has a video of me doing a beer bong.
I'd like to know who hasn't seen my tits tonight.
He's the one named Andrew. In his profile picture he is the one on the right in the monkey costume.
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