How'd it feel making her break her religion?
Revenge fucks should not count towards the total number. They're justified.
Well he's not exactly single.. It's like an open relationship his wife doesn't know about
Drinking with mariachis at jimmy johns.
Let's just say that watching the sunrise in a space helmet is really the only way to do it.
I wouldn't blame my organs if they just decided to quit working after this weekend
I got so drunk at the hockey game I bought everyone behind me in concession line a funnel cake.
I told him i turn boys gay hoping that would scare him off. Finally i found a way to take advantage of my disability.
The guy behind me is talking about how his life goal is to use his knowledge of mathematics to make the world a better place. My only life goal right now is getting through this lecture without throwing up in my lap.
Do you think if 10 year old us knew that we would be passing out in a McDonalds after a hefty night of drinking, and 23 McChickens, they'd change anything?
I told him we could fuck whenever was concurrent for both of us
He won a jackpot and invited his ex girlfriend over to have sex on 5grand
Ugh. The fucking vaginal recession is so real right now.
I need to stop agreeing to hang out with people when I'm drunk.
I'm sorry I put my balls through your watch. On another note your roommate had them on his shoulder too sry
Randomize