Kiss
Puke
Just got thank you sex for shoveling the driveway. I cant wait for the next blizzard
I told him I wanted to have sex to "halleluiah", he suggested the poke-rap.
Wat the fuck dude ketchup in my bong???
You tried taking his shirt off at the bar. He was 37 and married with kids.
I would be the drunk girl eating cake on the front steps alone.
For looking exactly like her, she tasted less like her sister than I would've thought
Think I pulled my pelvic muscle.
I think I pulled my ashamed of myself muscle.
i'd say i'm about at weeping-uncontrollably-in-a-puddle-of-my-own-tears-and-urine level
I was talking to another guy at the bar last night and all of a sudden a flying piece of Sausage lands on my boobs. Then I hear my boyfriend yell, "just marking my territory."
why is there blood on my car? and are we still friends?
Just whatever you do, don't neglect the balls.
Thx for last night. I've never had so much fun while being told my life decisions are questionable at best.
We were looking everywhere for you and I finally found you in the closet talking to a build a bear.. So I gave you and myself another drink
It’s Sunday Funday! Stop watching football and bring your penis over here. There will be plenty of scoring!
Randomize
