Every time we have sex I can't stop thinking about Jesus
I just saw a homeless man with a cat on a leash. reminded me of you.
Too long to explain. Basically I started an electircal fire. No one was hurt except for a box of cereal near the outlet.
I think there was chlamydia in those woods.
It was all cool until he grabbed my vag and started screaming: THIS IS MINE.
I asked you if you needed a ride and you kept saying "no, my name is katelyn"
If me getting shot doesn't get me pussy I am officially gay
last night on the strip the guy screamed at you YOU GOTTA WORK ON YOUR CALVES.
You tried to get the Waffle House waitress to put a candle in your cheesy hash browns.
Please don't pee your pants in the cab. One more time, and im pretty sure the cab companies will refuse to pick you up anymore
so i EARNED it!?! i EARNED dying alone with cats!!?
He pulled out a red and green condom and then started humming "Here Comes Santa Claus." Happy holidays indeed.
I slept like a rock because of your dick. I'll thank him personally later.
"Fwd: Nice to meet you last night thanks for the tit flash" no recollec. i am officially banned from wearing tube tops to the bar.
God help them if any millennials are in the vicinity. Rent is too high and we no longer fear death
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