i stalked him back to the creation of his facebook in november 2008. that bad.
She sent me a text saying she picked out 17 different Halloween costumes for our kids when they hit the age of 4... The cling factor should have me running right now but honestly I'm just curious
He just asked me to pee through my panties while he watched. I might need more tequila for this one.
She literally just puked and rallied AT HER OWN WEDDING. Welcome to White Trash town, America.
I woke up in her bed, she woke up in mine. Apparently there was a miscommunication after the 8th jager bomb.
I'm convinced that college is the only place where one can have an existential crisis over what sweatpants to wear
You straddled the banister and fell down the stairs, then proceeded to crawl back up them, I think you need to lay down
He puked over my shoulder into the toilet. The guy in the next stall sounded totally appalled.
As soon as he came we went to Dairy Queen. That drive through lady was very condescending about our "just fucked" ice cream.
All my interactions with my brother are drug deals at this point
Your boyfriends underwear are hanging from my kitchen window. Where the fuck are you?!
It also means I'm watching porn with mario earphones so i can hear. Possibly the best way to mastrabate EVER
Is it weird to invite your FWB to thanksgiving dinner??
I've peed in two sinks in the past two weeks. No one should be able to say that.
I had just gotten to his place and was about to get some dick. No way was I gonna let her negative attitude affect my orgasm feng shui
Randomize
