I made my friend ***** cry when I wouldn't let her call u for an orgy at 3am...I didn't think you'd be to happy being woke up
you turned your livingroom into a bong?
I am watching Grease 2 and properly learning how to apply a condom to a banana. This is a sign from God that this is the closest I will ever get to having the need for one.
why does being broke make me substitute dinner for vodka, Xanax, and two day old cupcakes? I don't like being fat, jittery and drunk.
On a scale of one to Chris Brown, how angry are you?
he was writing an apology letter to his liver in shakespearean english... That much fun...
The google font looked peculiar last night, but then up close I realized it was just dry vomit.
What I dont get, is for a man with a penis his size, to choose to go back with another girl instead of one that he says is the best sex he's ever had. He cant afford to be picky.
the head trauma was worth the blowjob.
Tough to say exactly how to play this. I just know people don't like surprises when genitals are involved.
he made me feel like a shish kabob. his dick was the skewer.
and you said he wasn't worth calling.
For future reference "bring our litter sisters on our date day" is not such a good idea
I want to be stormed in. I want to be stuck there. I want to climb a pyramid of strippers to safety
stop sending me battleship coordinates and get back here so i can suck your dick
I hope none of us try to run for public office one day
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