I know right? mind you this is the same woman who told me when I was 12 that oral sex just meant talking dirty
i found the vodka. it was hiding in the orange juice.
make sure you eat your skittles last so when you barf you can barf RAINBOWS.
I'm glad you enjoy my eating disorder so much.
Dude I totally just watched a girl put a tampon soaked in vodka up her vag
I need new friends
I may or may not have puked in my RA's suggestion box.
And then I interrupted the father of the groom, to ask if she was "ballet or pole" in the middle of his story about his niece, the dancer.
Had to make a piece of abstract art. Your dick is in it
he pulled a $400 bottle of champagne out of the back part of his toiled and I was ready to blow him then and there
Please God, is a penis possibly making it to vagina town to much to ask for tonight.
Did you really lure me out of the bar with a blond holding a dunkin donuts bag? Well played sir, well played.
So I just went to 3 different stores because there is no way I can walk out of one store with this many reeses and still have my pride.
It was like something out of a fucked up fairy tale. He just crowdsurfed over to her while riding a keg, said "come sail with me", and then the crowd carried them off into the night. What.
You got kicked out after 30 minutes, 3 beers and 2 shots. Group record. Also you kept rubbing his belly and calling him buddha.
We're friends with benifits... The benifits being I'm fucking her boyfriend
His parents then knew me as the blackout who took care of him and stole his watch
Randomize
