yay america 4th of july drinking game. take a drink every time you hear or see a firework, finish your drink for a mention of mj or the gosselins, a shot for the words democracy,hope, freedom, terrorism
Just realized my talking to the tv hockey voice is same as my sex voice. Life just got a whole lot weirder.
is there a legit reason for the weird voicemail I got at 2:14am?all I could make out was 'help me' 'two hours' and 'toilet butt'. wtf did u drink.
Whatever. I indirectly made you cum overseas. Call it even.
I'm doing lines by myself in the kitchen. I think your outside. yeah that's you. your naked.
I'm unshowered, and since I've seen this episode of say yes to the dress, I've decided to go to the store and get a frozen pizza at 10:20 am. I'm crushing life.
Just realized how sopa could affect my ability to watch porn, son of a bitch
I got my little bro high for the first time... Turns out the two of us stoned together is a mess. We spent 10 minutes trying to communicate with each other using just our eyebrows.
My whole sorority girl exterior is just a lie. I'm a fat tumblr girl on the inside.
I want to get up and tell you that smells delicious but I'm struggling with the idea of pants
I feel like David Hasselhoff when he's drunk eating that cheeseburger and crying. But with cheesecake.
Thanksgiving day drinking ended up with me in a shopping cart screaming where are the bitches and condoms. I'd say it went well.
he called me ma'am when we were fucking last night...he's five years older than me. I think I'm in love.
i left you alone for two hours TWO HOURS & when i got back i had to rush you to the hospital because you were covered in Smooth Away pads & drinking the bong water..
Sometimes you wanna cuddle and sometimes you wanna get blown in the bathroom.
Randomize
