She said so on her MySpace, so it's gotta be true.
just saw someone puke all over a michigan fan. he didn't even flinch.
Her life must suck. All she's got is "Miss Shamrock" WHICH SHE LOST!
yeah, and then after the convo was clearly over, my dad decides to scream "SIZE MATTERS" just to make things even more uncomfortable.
I just can't bring boyfriends home.
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i told her that i loved her pillow breasts and then she asked me if i wanted to motor boat them. so yea, i do need the room tonite.
My body isn't even mad at me...just disappointed
In hindsight, buying 4 different kinds of vibrators at once may have been a little overenthusiastic of me.
I can't believe I had to convince you to not drink butter.
Pretty sure I asked the person at the pharmacy counter in Walgreens to marry me last night. But also remember Rachel Maddow crawling through the TV screen, so my memory might be a bit compromised...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Jumanji is 1000% better stoned while cooking breakfast.
I just singed the hair in my nose trying to re-light a joint. now all i can smell is burnt hair. day ruiner
I was thirsty after the sex and it was a long trek back to res so naturally I stole chocolate milk from his fridge as I left
The homeless woman that called me a "dirty looking cunt" the other day, was standing outside Starbucks today with a sign that said "Jesus loves you."
Did you know they have a bouncer at Applebee's because I did not
Shit. My boss is having me meet and greet with the new doc upstairs. Do you think his doctor powers will detect that I'm still high?
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