$4 taco and $400 parking ticket. i am not a cheap date.
Im mastering the way to pass gas silently.
I had sex with billy mayes last night. HE KEPT IN CHARACTER THE WHOLE TIME.
just gave a yankee's fan wrong directions to Fenway....welcome to boston asshole
it makes more sense than having a misplaced asshole
im not talking about this
You coming bye my yot got egg sweet carilne vodklaa
He probably has his cowboy hat on, that's his house hat.
Fair enough. I'm gonna finish off half a bottle of Brunettes in the shower anf relive the good ol' days. We need a reunion
we didnt plan anything. just randomly met up in the park, both reached into our pockets and each lit up a joint without exchanging words. we're telepathic potheads.
I'm pathetic. I'm eating cream puffs in the bath and crying a little.
Sam was like the mother fucking Moses of drunk and underage kids and he lead them to safety away from the cops. He's a hero that we deserve.
Nothing says "single girl" quite like Pinot Grigio and canned ravioli at 11:30 pm....
I woke up with "To whom it may concern" sharpied on my dick
Get over here asap there are three naked girls two bottles of whiskey and only one of me
While I'm here in reality dreaming of catching chili cheese fries with my mouth out of t shirt guns like Jesus is real
Randomize
