guess who just spent driver's ed figuring out how to draw a guy giving head
I had fun last night. We should have sex less often.
Just gave advice in krystal burger while holding and pointing with a corona to a 3 year old, told her to enjoy her stroller time while it lasts. The mom pushed her away fast.
Yeah, he said he was getting "welcome back Winnipeg Jets drunk" then puked on his jersey.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She took one look at my hardon and said, "You have a dick built for anal."
That wasn't a compliment.
when you come home i just want to let you know we are cats now. and we are out of eggs.
i think my cat just said my name.
He uses Bing as his search engine...but he's great in bed. So obviously I'm torn.
So red wine goes with eggs, right? Because that's all I have in the house to cook and the drinking options are either wine or scotch
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It doesn't count as "finding the lesbian" if you fuck a straight girl!
IT WAS JUST SO LITTLE AND AWKWARDLY FLOPPING BACK AND FORTH
she just kept pointing at the cows and calling them field penguins
She puked in the bed, peed in the closet, and woke up on a Rubbermaid in the closet under the stair case
Makes hanging out interesting when she lights you on fire just to roll ontop of you to 'put you out'.
All I recall is being at the strip club doing dark rum shots and then puking a question mark on the wall above the garbage can in the men's room and having diarrhea in the sink. 6th drunkest I've ever been without blacking out.
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