There's an amish chick decked out in amish clothes on a cell phone staring at me.
Until he has ordered mozzarella sticks & beers at 2pm while wearing formal attire, then this is still my bar.
just chugged some gatorade and threw it up. todays gonna be awesome
After 13 tally marks I wrote the number 4,000 and made u sign my arm to prove it.
Basically I learned last night that if you're too polite people will think it's okay to play with your nipples when really its not even a little okay
Doing lines of coke through pieces of licorice. Because I can
Well two things you gotta know if you're gonna live here. your alcohol tolerance is gonna need to go up, and people do blow. Get used to it. Nobody is gonna pressure you into it. That shits expensive
Dance move was taxi-ing on the runway then taking off in a plane. All the boys wanted to beat you up cause they were like "who is this angel flapping her arms like a bird in the bar i must have her"
I just shit my pants and had a heart attack. Simultaneously. May or may not be related to this game.
I ate vegetarian today, so I deserve a beer.That's my justification.
It's like you're the voice of my soul.
Future roommate keeps sending me pictures of cool shit she has for our dorm and I'm just like "... I have a set of Aggie wine glasses a great set of tits."
I am going to piss jack daniels before daylight.
Daylight. It is daylight. Who will give you a ride back?
I hope no one. I want to walk and have a bus hit me.
Last night was a whirlwind of vodka - induced emotion
So you broke your ribs while fucking? Dude you just got about 25% hotter.
You showed me your butthole that's like a mating call in other species
Randomize
