I'm sorry that you just had your first misguided homo experience
I never want to see another naked old woman again.
it's all fun and games until somebody pulls the tampon string..
I just realized last night I drunk-bought a flight to Florida for this weekend...kinda torn between the price and the potential of awesomeness
Yeah I tried to leave with 3 drinks and the bouncer wouldn't let me, I slammed all 3 right in front of him and football spiked them in the trash can
Definitely just said "no homo" to our gay waiter at Cheesecake Factory...our service has steadily declined since.
I hope the doctor doesnt lift up and my shirt and listen to my lungs. I dont want to explain why I have rug burns on my back.
She set an alarm on my phone for her birthday. Place: Her bed.
I'm soaked in beer, and I think blood. Why did we think we could tap a keg with a hammer?
Out of all the people in the house to show their tits at mcdonalds to try and get free food, they picked those two?
He stumbled in drunk at 7am, while we were getting ready for work. He poured a bowl of Cap'n Crunch, poured Jack Daniels on it., and said he was having "Captain Jack" for breakfast. I don't know how he's alive and employed. I hope the Cap'n calls in sick for him today.
The house hit rave levels when La Bamba came on which confuses me because I live in white suburban Canada
PARA BAILAR LA BAMBA ASSHOLES
then a garbage truck rolls up to the club, they hop out, and walk right in like they own the place
Please can we have sex in this office for old times sake
We got stoned and took selfies with the most perfect lawn
Randomize
