a very overweight girl in the ER just said she trippped over the invisible wii jump rope and fell
I woke up in what appears to be a taco bell graveyard in my bed.
He gave Paula abdoul a run for her crazy
she's crying while babbling "all i do is win"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Aside from the fact that there's a penis in my mouth, that's a pretty good picture of me
I really need to stop drunk texting. My one night stand just agreed to go roller skating.
Instead of medicine they should just give ecstasy. Also I'm tingly and can't find u guys. A gay man just said he loved me... :( / :)
He's grinding topless with a group of girls to that discovery channel song. May I take a message?
I'm sorry, you might have to start setting aside some time in your day for my pussy.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Do you have any puffy paint? I want to put "fiesta muthafuckas" on my sombrero but its too much to bedazzle.
Also there's a home game tomorrow and I thought about holding up a sign that says, "I madeout with #64 during orientation week" would that be inappropriate??
i'm just really offended he didn't want to have breakup sex. like that was the only thing i was really looking forward to
Do you remember when I didn't post that pic of you fucking an avocado on your boss' desk? Can you return the favour?
Yea and there’s destruction when we’re together, mostly of our livers but W/e
youll appreciate my drinking habit one day...
Randomize