I hraet yuo
did you say you heart me or hate me?
who is this?
no i did not stop my best friend from eating out my sister...bros before hoes
Just got an email from TMobile. Said they were going to pursue "more qualified" candidates. So this is what rock bottom feels like.
I'm walking down the street with a Starbucks in one hand and a flask in the other. People seem to have a staring problem
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's so hard to find a shirt to wear out that is easily taken off, cut off my paramedics, but says "I'm a grown, respected woman"
I don't know what to tell you, usually I would just ask if they'd like to meet the captain. If you can't get laid it's your problem.
I will seriously deflate and melt into the floor into a puddle of devestation, shame and vodka.
I had to explain to my dentist that my tooth was chipped because we designated my mouth as the official way to open beer. I feel like our level of partying is no longer socially acceptable.
They kept barging in on us saying random shit. At one point they came in yelling room service! and threw soda at us bruising my foot. Weirdest injury I have gotten during sex.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just talked this guy out of hooking up with me and gave him relationship advice. Am I a good person now?
My mom just walked in and saw a picture of his penis. She then asked me "Do you even have a cervix left?!" I don't know what to feel anymore HA
Yeah well that's a good thing right? Like mothers approval? Kinda like a Fathers blessing but. . . better?
My uterus is doing all sorts of karate moves to break free of my body.
I'm stuck in a tree and request your assistance ASAP
I need a moral compass that doesn't always point to dick
QUIT STEALING MY PHONE AND SEXTING MY MOM!!!!
Randomize