So My parents cut me off after I started making blood marys with hienz ketchup
He was so drunk that he tried to backflip off a baby chair.. How do you think that ended?
and then she yelled "im going to fuck the next guy that walks by me". so ya thats how i lost my virginity
he put on The Eye of the Tiger while she was in labor.
I almost punched the night nurse in her face. I woke up and she was standing over me.
Side note: I think I fell asleep holding a cereal box
I expect to be treated like a lady. Even If your sticking it in my ass.
Probably shouldn't have worn my jeans covered in blood from last night to class.
I will miss his soup and his dick the most
yeah a little bit of me felt bad about it. But the rest of me was having sex with him.
That's unfortunate. Distance can be a stoner's greatest enemy.
You make it sound like a battle for Middle Earth.
First highlight of the semester: campus safety caught me peeing in the dirt parking lot by kappa. Then as they were about to write me up, they recognized me, laughed, and left.
HOLD ONTO YOUR PANTIES AND SAY GOODBYE TO THE REMAINDER OF YOUR INTEGRITY
Have you ever been so high that you felt like corduroy? I'm at that level.
We banged in my car doggy style with my head out the window. The sky was marvelous and I saw a shooting star. Its destiny; we're meant to fuck forever.
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