So ignoring my calls doesnt work if you update your facebook a minute later.
we're getting ready to take strippers to breakfast. I love my life.
one day john is going to snap and they are going to make a new show called "john and chainsaw minus 9"
flash back: i gave smirnoff to a group of children at walmart
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Ok so the guy below me is either having sex very loudly or is very lonely
there was a 40 knocked over. chips and salsa all over the floor. and she was in her thong doing boot camp on demand in the middle of the room..
love being home for thanksgiving just had grandma pick me up from the frat by her house
That girl gave me her number because you were arrested. I am so proud of you dude.
I tried exercising today. I ended up masturbating to the Wii fit trainer.
I am going to be fat forever.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm drunk and I have your birth certificate
You've got to be fucking kidding me. Do you think "Husband drunkenly pees all over floors" is reasonable grounds for divorce? So pissed off right now.
I figured it out! The supermoon explains how I managed to have sex with 3 dudes in 3 nights without leaving the apartment.
How I know I've been single too long: I'm reveling in finding out my taken friends are being tragically dumped
Sorry, i'm on a strict diet of vodka and regret
Ya know. I was thinking of my slutty moments the other day and finally know which one makes the number 1 spot.
Randomize