omg he said he wants to insert his penis into my vagnia what do i say
tell him to stop quoting family guy
Anywhere you can eat green eggs and ham, you can have sex.
I thought I broke my iPhone. I was almost as depressed as the day I broke my vibrator.
just gave a yankee's fan wrong directions to Fenway....welcome to boston asshole
You spend 45 minutes trying to convince that pregnant girl you were with all night to have sex with you cause 'the worst had already happened.'
If court goes my way we are flying to Vegas.
I have to answer enough questions about you, I don't need your uterus tossed in the conversation.
In other news my cocaine dealer got arrested for heaving some kid out of a fourth story window.
You took photos of my underwear around London the day after! THAT was too soon.
How long can I keep it classy to hook up in my old office building? Two more years? Does it get weird after 30?
God, please protect all woman from micro-penises
I think it's getting serious, we started a jigsaw puzzle together.
You kept licking my face. You said you were making sure I was real.
You fist bumped my dick last night saying good game. That you'll be back for the 2nd game...
I'm actually on the verge of cancelling a booty call because I have an early meeting tomorrow. If this is what adulthood is going to be like, I'll pass.
Randomize
