Played the LOTR drinking game last night. Ended up in boxers running thru the lot at ross's place screaming "for frodo"
I did something last night that I shouldn't have, but I don't want to tell you because you'll probably just make it your fb status...
I see you've learned your lesson.
taking a shot every time they compare curling to a real sport
who knew that if you vomit while skydiving the puke goes up towards the people that are behind you.
By the end of the night i was making legitimate noises not just saying moo.
My neighbor is on the his front porch in a robe dipping a popsicle into what appears to be vodka. I want to be his son.
Had to go to the urgent for a physical and I gave them my fake. Nurse was a sport though
I think there's a website warning girls about me based on the 4 who approached me separately tonight and called me evil. Fuckyoudave.com?
Professor just informed us that she can't come to class today because her daughter broke her glasses and she can not see where she is going. Am I still drunk from this weekend?
Please don't place wagers on my sex life unless you are giving me a cut. With my current sluttiness I feel like I deserve 40% for how much money you'll make
Your fuck buddy is making you watch the OC. I think that counts as strings attached.
I discovered a new stretch mark. DONE. LITERALLY DONE.
I'm trying to make sure he doesn't drown in the toilet. Because I'm a nice lady.
I woke up to Dragon Ball Z playing in Portuguese and a donut shish-kebab~ed on a dick in my face.
Pornhub is actually a very wholesome website
Randomize
