How young is too young to ask my kid to make me a drink?
Ive never seen someone more dtf than a soaking wet drunk girl who stumbles into your backyard.
okay so i know you are missing your wallet but at least its not your tooth. i am missing my tooth.
it's been a while because I don't count the hooker
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Btw after this weekend the chipndales costume has a 125% success rate.
I think you're going to have to drive me to white haven. I don't know if my brain can handle having my mom drop me off at a strip club.
On our way there. Drinking my beer out of a coffee pot. Cuz it's my bday
Like for real, is your junk ok? I have to look after my investments.
If you need us, Zoe and I will be on my kitchen floor drinking Gatorade and crying
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So "I hate myself Mondays" has extended to Tuesday this week. I just had peanut butter and a glass of wine for lunch.
My mom is selling her car. I'm secretly relieved I won't ever have to tell her about that time you puked in it
I am still awake. And let me sing you the song of my people. Ahem. "I have a bottle of hydrocodone and you all can fuck off."
"I'm a professor to university students" I say as I realize I have a nipple piercing that I have no memory of getting
He a gives rim jobs, because, of course a guy who opens doors and makes reservations would lick your anus..like a gentleman.
She started waving a nerf rifle around and demanding free booze.
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