Discovered the coffee filter hasn't been changed in a while. I believe the mold has hypnotic properties. Would try it again, but coffee vomit is not pleasant.
New drinking game watching teenage mutant ninja turtles movie and drinking every time raphael says damn, someone says april or ms oneil, and shredder appears And every time we see a mustache
Facebook is used to stalk your friends, Twitter is used to stalk celebritie=s, and Myspace is used to stalk underaged girls. Everything else is porn. T=he Internet in a nutshell.
It's 10am. I'm hungover wearing a flyers jersey and a phillies hat and eating a cheesesteak. I'm not the only one. Best city ever.
like the penis drawn on my face is so detailed and well done, i'm not even upset about it.
the boat had a sign not to jump off the roof of it, which gave us the idea to jump off the roof of it
Apparently I whispered "Jesus was here" and bailed out of the moving taxi.
I would call you but I don't feel like these hands belong to me.
So ive narrowed my options down to getting food or masturbating. Don't judge me
You gotta pick a side. My suggestion: side with tits.
Those tiny little fruit fly looking mofos. They fly past the phone and I grabbed them like Daniel-San
The laundromat is nothing like In the pornos
You’d probably be happy to know that I think I’ve mastered the skill of knowing “my type” and then steering clear
FINALLY. I THOUGHT THIS DAY WOULD NEVER COME!
duddde i wasn't even home last night and someone elses clothes are on my floor and there glow sticks everywhere?!
My roommate just angrily told the cat he should have knocked, but that's not lockdown madness. They're always like that.
Randomize
