i just made my gag reflex go away.
There is a limo involved. Man up, and make yourself puke. Its only one more night of blacking out.
I'll try not to. I have an appointment at the hospital tomorrow so my goal is to wake up there.
I was just compiling a top 5 blowjobs list and that's in there for sure.
Idk. I woke up marinating in beer on my beanbag. Idk what you mightve done.
The only thing I regret was that he was wearing a scarf when we made out.
But I just had this pork pâté. It was dick grabbing.
Almost bit the guy's hand who sits in front of me because he was stretching. That. Bored.
I just want school to he over so we can build a big tent, do drugs inside it, and watch cartoons until the sun comes up.
That's all I've ever wanted.
I'm texting you the word "cockring" because I feel it hasn't been said enough throughout our friendship.
You grabbed your house keys, threw them at the door and asked, "did it open?"
Did body shots with a guy... Ended up being the ref of my volleyball game... So that's why we won
So I'm just casually at the grocery store when I remember that there's still a clove of garlic in my vagina
Well I've made a drinking game out of the Wiggles but I think I've got this babysitting thing down
How is it that 364 days a year I'm the adult, but on Halloween you completely forget how to have fun and become my grandma?
Randomize
