I just made out with a guy for $7.
I put it into a sports analogy for him: there are three teams in the league- friends, fuck buddies, and dating, and the fuck buddies roster is full, pick an alternate team
He made me cum so much, I almost let him spend the night. The operative word being "almost".
I have a feeling this won't be the last time I wake up wrapped in a shower curtain with the words "Blame Bono" spray painted on it
So you walked 4 miles to get home but stopped by the store first to get a vegetable tray? How drunk were you?
This guy at the party just introduced himself to me as "the guy who sat behind you on a plane last year"
I am the master of subtle flirting. I seduced him by simulating a hand job with an epi-pen during training.
Of course drinkings involved. They don't call it alcoholism because we eat too many skittles.
I just found out the guy that lied and blew me off got arrested, his mugshot is online. Life is good.
If we could give a gymnastic score to drunken nights, I would be a part of the Fab Five.
He just snapchatted me a picture of his cock. The angle makes it look like a freakin skyscraper. Thinking of photoshopping a little monkey on it.
Shaving your bikini line at 11 at night in the Walmart bathroom feels trashy no matter why you're doing it.
He's attempting to seduce me with thanksgiving-themed sexual metaphors... It's working.
I'm questioning my decision to swallow this morning while my stomach was in hangover mode
Met a beautiful Irishman two nights in a row. I may never come back.
Randomize
