I'm pounding a vodka drink as we speak to make her interesting
Drinking in an igloo changes everything.
Can the rest of this semester just go by as a montage?
I think misery doesn't even think of me as company anymore. I'm an unofficial roommate.
still haven't packed clothes. only wine. gotta love spring break
wanna play who's drunker? I just made macaroni & cheese taco and offered it to the pizza Guy as a tip.
I'll be in my room with a breakfast burrito at 2:30. It's up to you...
Seriously, I am going to crawl in a hole, sew my vagina shut, and spit acid on any man that comes near me.
I'm calling in my "fuck at anytime anywhere" card. Meet me at my place in 20 min, wear your Waldo costume.
Brandon just showed up at my place with a florida state cheerleader he met in vegas durin spring break. His life is a fucking movie
At one point 12 people dressed in care bear onesies were up on stage grinding super nasty, and two of the girl Care Bears were making out.
If this wasn't a hallucination, we need to go to this magical kingdom every night of the week.
He kept kissing me on the cheek when I was pretending to sleep while he cried
It was crazy man, at one point after already going 3 rounds I tried to breakaway for a smoke...she yanked me by the nipple hair back on top of her.
My life has turned into sitting in the driveway listening to Total Eclipse of the Heart while staring at the Blue Moon. Hey, August. Let's be nice. I need help.
my friends roomated asked me this morning if we went to mcdonalds last night and i had no idea...that is until i checked my purse and found half a mcdouble in it...
Randomize
