once my pubes got caught on her snaggletooth it was all downhill from there
What the fuck. The girl next to me just looked at her phone, put her stuff away, and popped a birth control and ran out of class. Lucky fucking guy.
I know he is still a student. I am not asking if his being an underwear model makes it more ethical, just less prosocutable.
My g-ma saw your dick-pic and wants you to know I've got a keeper. She says her big whopper died in Korea. Good thing g-pa is still asleep.
You were typing for me while I was hyperventilating into a paper bag on the floor.
You knocked on your freshman year room door, told the kids who opened it "I own you", and attempted to force-feed them everclear.
In local news "Man Stabbed With Golf Club" next person who tells me this is a safe place to live gets punched...
Probably won't be invited back there again considering last time his purebred corgi ate my pot brownie and had to be rushed to the hospital.
Meh, all I have to do tomorrow is proctor an AP test. No loud noises and no physical activity allowed for almost 4 hours. Sounds like the perfect recovery period for a hangover.
Good god, my descendants are going to be fucked.
I'm sorry I threw a frog in your car last night.
Fuck me I smell like cheese
i puked in a jesus candle last night and then denied it... i'd say it was a pretty alright night
I have a cheeseburger in my purse and im going to fill her prescription for narcotics. Who thought i was responsible enough to sign her discharge papers?
It’s so white trash that I almost have to have it.
Randomize
