At a place where you lie naked on a big pile of pillows and they feed you lobster. You eat it with your bare hands.
I wasn't trying to make you feel bad, I just agreed with you that your life does suck.
chastity bono is officially a man...and has a really hot girlfriend...life doesn't make sense
I drank gravy. I actually drank gravy. This is heaven.
Sometimes i look at the biltmore estate and wonder just how small George Vanderbilt's penis was...
happy birthday! Any relationship between us is now officially illegal.
Thank you blackberry messenger, for giving me a way to sext faster and more efficiently
Ask if he wants his tooth back. It's in the freezer. In the box of hotpockets.
found a cell phone. in the freezer. wrapped in bologna. explain?
His phone pocket dialed me while he was crapping. He was quietly singing stayin alive and possibly passing his intestines.
The plan was to get laid... Now the plan is to survive.
At some point during thanksgiving the image of me pooping on ur moms chest will come to you. Your welcome!
Right now, millions of people are waking up to get ready for work, start their day, and be productive members of society. I just found a 40 stashed in my fridge. I'm getting daybreak drunk. Zero fucks are given.
Isn't being unemployed beautiful sometimes?
HE PEED ON ME. THE MANAGER OF THE BAR.
I mean the power was out what was I supposed to do
Randomize
