i think he just uses that whole "grew up in a castle" thing to get pussy
It just sucks seeing everyone get flowers but me...
yeah, but they die. it takes a while, but they die. just like all of these kids relationships will. tequila doesnt die. its a live in the moment thing... like a valentines day one night stand. so long run, tequila is the better gift.
Only you would think wine and coffee was an acceptable finals study time mix
Printing the vagina inspector badge was money well spent.
You are too young to settle down enjoy your life. The window to get drunk and have casual sex with strangers gets smaller by the day.
it's like my freshman wet dream come true
He recreated the night that started all my mothers days. We shared a joint, drank Boones Farm, and dry humped to the Beastie Boys. Then I cried over MCA's death. Best. Gift. Ever.
And I wasn't prepared because its been a very long and lonely season and I wasn't expecting to find dick at Press Box trivia night....
I accidentally called my professor daddy...and I think he liked it. Help, I'm scared.
If he would've shaved his beard when we first broke up, getting over him would've been so much simpler. That asshole.
Her son walked in on us and asked if he could "wrestle too."
This is why I only drink in places with a C or D health rating
i was so blazed last night that i kept imagining a talking eagle sitting next to me encouraging me to smoke more... i listened to it.
We're getting a bucket of chicken and screwing around, so no, you can't join us.
There’s a child, alone, sitting on a picnic table out there, making bird noises
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