Funny thing- my attraction to each one is inversely proportional to his level of availability.
70 feet underwater and I sharted my wetsuit, Tide pen won't clean this up.
I'm gonna keep this simple. I threw up in your pillow case. Sorry.
i'm at a baby shower....never been happier to not be having sex currently
I miss your penis. And I totally say this as a friend. I just miss it because it's great. You should be very proud of it.
Hey. I found $5 in quarters from one of those state quarter collection books. I'm using it for food tomorrow.
He screamed AMERICA, took a shot of vodka out of a Tupperware container, and then asked if he could see my tits
Did you fuck him in my garden last night?
That WOULD explain the dirt in my vagina
I've never had goosebumps on my dick before. It was definitely not a bad feeling.
Apparently when your theatre teacher asks who the best actor of our time is, Nicolas Cage is not the right answer.
Goodnight Shia. Goodnight Moon.
He just said "I know you want my cock" and I said nah. I want food bro
It was a glorious ass. He has amazing hands. I want to fuck him until he can't do math anymore.
I'm literally trapped as the little spoon on a mattress on the floor of an unfinished basement with a professional athlete snoring in my hair
just woke up and had to check if i still had pants on, i really need to stop drinking
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