Her eyes are really red like she jus got out of the hospital and shes coughing ...80 ppl at her school do have swine flu dude
So your saying just a blow job?
Talking to this girl is like playing minesweeper on hard. There's red flags everywhere.
so just incase I die tonight I'm making a list of people that I don't want to be let in to my funeral
I did my dad and i had to keep going back there to pick up coffee
please read the first 4 words of that text and consider punctuation
i bought another $5 worth of vodka. with change. i look like a homeless alcoholic. i need your dino cups or else i'll be forced to make a giant jello bowl shot
I never thought that taking apart multiple age 5 and under puzzles would be part of my house party clean up process.
Yeah, sorry about that. I just couldn't stop.
I fell asleep with all the lights and heat on in the apartment with windows open, Earth Hour is lost on people like me.
I can't wait for the 4th. I'll probably get drunk and end up puking all over whichever 18 year old I end up making out with.
What does puking wasabi feel like?
Like snorting cocaine backwards.
Thanks for coming over. I'm sorry everyone else was vomiting. Thank you for not vomiting. I love you.
Someone left a middle school yearbook here. I recognized one kid from banging his mom last year.
Don't worry I sent a creepy stalker message to a guy I slept with 6 years ago, Sunday Funday rock bottom
cinco de mayo stole my toenail
cinco de mayo stole my virginity.
I don't think you understand I turned down McDonalds for you.
Im going for myspace 2006 goth bitch. Your worst nightmare
Randomize
