but i really can't criticize. i blacked out waaaaaay ahead of schedule.
I thought I was at a rave until the paramedics started chasing me. You win again tequila.
woke up to an unread text message i sent to myself: "brreakfdast..pork and ice cream."
Yeaaah, so cabbie laughed at me, and said, "rough nite? Let me find you some music" . apparently OPP is the appropriate ride of shame soundtrack.
It's like a mixture of two words
"town" and "Im too drunk to spell right now"
Im just saying it can't be that bad if he drove himself to the er. We'll head that way when we finish playing scattergories
good news: I made it out of bed and into shower. Bad news: I made it back to bed without clothes. Worse news: I don't know this bed.
at wine tasting. Can i cleanse my Palate with a frito?
They're not that bad of drunks, they come back to the vehicle with more stuff than they went in with, so its a profitable venture.
The thumbs up barstamp on my hand is mocking my hangover with its positivity.
I picked a bad day to wear the catch me fuck me shoes.
Did someone catch you and fuck you?
Also, I just realized you seduced me while in a batman onesie... Well done, sir. Well done.
Let's go. I'm waiting for my time to shine among the stars of never never land. Make sure you bring my Peter Pan costume this time. Shit's bout to get real glittery.
She was wearing American flag underwear. How could I NOT fuck her?
You're a true patriot.
You took your pants and underwear off as soon as we got to Melissa's and just walked around the entire time like it was completely normal. We even ate pizza together with your vagina exposed. You're my hero.
Randomize
