it looked like a condom graveyard when i woke up. they were everywhere
Yea. But u kept saying "as long as she doesn't have aids" so I was concerned
just customized my debit card w a pic of me ralphing over the toilet. figure it'll give the bar keep a good cut off est and for shits n giggles when buying my handles at the liqour store
Just because you're using the Hipstamatic app for your nude photo taking, it doesn't make your drunken blowjob pics any classier.
I hijacked a bellboy cart and rolled into the party dancing on it
False alarm I know hes alive because when i tried shaking him awake he pissed his pants and rolled over..
Oh fuck, I messaged a Jack Kerouac poem to a girl I'm trying to sleep with last night at 4am.
His dick looks just like him, taller than average, thick, and somehow always angry.
These girls just walked into this party as reverse cowgirls... Wearing cowboy clothes all backwards
I just had to kick out lesbian wedding crashers. They literally wanted to punch me. I threatened to call the cops so they went outside and smoked a joint.
Only you could successfully troll for dick at a Hillel bake sale.
Immediately after sex he layed on the floor and acted like my yellow bra was pac man
My six-margarita-deep ass just used a blow torch to light the match that lit my bong pack. Peak single 🤦ðŸ¼â€â™€ï¸
His sister gave me the "if you hurt him I will break your neck" talk. I didn't know how to tell her we're not a couple.
Heyyyy, naked guy in your kitchen, can i ask you a quick question about a legal situation in pb??
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