Wow that girl who lives a couple houses down is going out wearing butterfly wings a skirt and fishnets
THAT'LL be a good time.
and i don't know why my phone always capitalizes that word.
FYI, if you pee in my bed (or even let R___ and E___ sleep in it), I will fart loudly during your wedding vows. Trust.
He kissed my cheek and I could smell it the whole way home like shit
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
how you manage to cockblock me from 500 miles away still baffles me.
Twas the night before the bachelor party, and all thru the house...not a creature was stirring, not even a stripper?...
We need to go back to the barter system so I can sell my body and just be done with it.
Was it you who made out with a toothless guy last night?
You wanna know how bad I feel? I couldn't get out of bed to get the remote, so I just downloaded the comcast app on my phone so I could change the channels
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Also I'm sorry for asking you to shave my vagina for me last night
Just sent a dick pic to ur girl. It was accident. Plz mail it to Gena.
Sorry I wore your bra during sex last night
I hate him but I love him for what he does which is me
At one point in the night, as we were running from the cops, I clearly remember you yelling "little gnomes are tickling the insides of my body!" ...that high.
So I missed the eclipse because I was masturbating.
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