her vagine was all disorganized.
Wow, this guy is harder to get rid of than gum in pubic hair
i just sent this text using only my big toe
Fucking freshmen need to learn how to puke in the bushes outside the dorm and not in the fucking elevator.
Yeah he's still asleep. I washed the blender out. He tried to make a ham-shake. Lets wait until after break to have that talk. I kind of want to see where this goes.
her best friend is in town and she told me that they used to fool around when they were drunk and I'd have to "help keep that from happening"
you motherfucker
drunk. just smoked a spliff with a 19yr old hungarian bike taxi driver and bonded over the difficulties of getting weed in a different country. idk y shit like this isnt in the study abroad info packets
So last night I learned something new. Whenever I drink beer out of a bottle a random guy buys me another one. It was like as soon as the glass hit my lips every guy in a 20ft radius got a hard on.
Do you think kicking my coke habit is a good personal goal to put down on the evaluation form?
I just ate beer and cupcakes for breakfast.... maybe this fourth of july won't be so bad
The fact that he quoted freebird as his breakup speech was a little more classy than expected
He's like a Lana del Rey song that took human form
This band has the most fuckable violin player I have ever seen.
Could someone explain to me why there were 40 individually wrapped burritos in the fridge when I woke up this morning?
HEY I WILL KIDNAP THE FUCK OUT OF YOUR PET GOAT
Randomize
