3:26am: come over
you purposely dodge me and you could have stopped me from leaving, you know how far i live. YOU come over
4:11am: mnlodp
dude I don't understand hebrew and I'm not coming over
He asked if I wanted to blow his flute? Please call me and pretend there is a family emergency!!!
a girl just told me i should have been born earlier in the alphabet
Just woke to a Christmas wrapped pack of hotdogs in my bathtub. How high did we get?
dude. you ripped the mardi gras beads off the girls neck and yelled she didnt deserve them..
he just asked me for a tag team. like at least let me get changed out of your roommates clothes from last night first...
I'm so bored right now i'm literally Googleing all the possible ways to get high with household items as my mom is sitting in front of me..
He was trying to hotbox the banana suit. Of course we traded him for vodka.
I feel like it'll be a success as long as she doesn't end up dead in a ditch. There has to be a line somewhere.
I feel strange, like something is off with my body
Yeah that's called sobering up, we've been drunk for the past 4 days
I've fucked 6 of my brothers' friends. I'm completely fine with him fucking the girl we ate lunch with.
well apparently i was just calling everyone cunts. then i awoke from my blackout to 3 very mad roommates who didn't bring a key out with them
He came inside and met my grandmother after we had sex in the driveway. I love that he has a van.
No one with a hairstyle like that is allowed to insult anyone for anything
I like shiny stuff tho if that’s an emotion
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