I'm still with the girl from last night. remember to call me conrad and that i work for PETA
Our teacher totally just got outed in class by a speaker from some lesbian cooperative house
Black out sex on the trampoline? yes please.
Pizza is the life boat of my drunk Titanic
It's true- you can buy beer at McDonald's in France. I'm not coming back to the States.
All of our toilets in my house are broken. Thank God I've practiced peeing in the sink enough.
There's a point around the one and a half minute mark where the keg stand goes from impressive to pathetic
I feel a bullet train of disappointment headed in your direction.
The stoned girl at the dining hall just handed me a single chicken wing and insisted that she's "unable to procure more rations"
You mAke me stone. Stone fuck fucking stoned. I'm an stoned you cuz now fucking stoned stoned fucking stoned I stone.
Sex last night was mind blowing. your wife is one lucky lady.
This is how baked we were last night. Our drinking game: We stare at each other; first one to laugh drinks.
If Denver makes it to the Super Bowl I'll quit drinking. So I'm pretty much stocking up on booze
this dude is way too smart. he just explained to me the different scientific components of drugs while we smoked. i said i loved icecream.
Um. I just realized I still have a beer in my purse from last night. I'm at work. I am so classy.
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