well hello there hangover. fancy meeting you here on this BRIGHT thursday morning.
I think the boy in my gender studies class cried when 90% of the girls said they had faked an orgasm
I woke up exactly where I passed out... on top of him yet he somehow put his pants back on
gpnpr hd vmdd nm the ggrl whm was mn my lar
I need you to use more vowels.
My bruised ribs were so worth that win in beer pong
He chipped a tooth on the first beer. You know the night is just going to be a slushy mess after that.
At second job interview this week. Wearing pants to hide pole dancing bruises. This my life.
Is that a polar bear? You seriously grinded with a polar bear at the club?
I don't care if my next phone has to run on the blood of virgin koala bears, I don't want to be scrambling for a charger.
I'm just more comfortable with the bondage
I think I just got drunk texted by my psychiatrist
i can't hookup with him because someone else bit my vagina
Legit sprained my cooter. No joke. Icing her down as we speak.
She pregamed while taking a shower. Came out clean and drunk.
According to the rule of quantum porn mechanics, the mere thought of something kinky causes it to exist. So out there, somewhere, there is already riddler/smurf porn...
Randomize
