I just packed a bowl in my room and use glad press n' seal to cover it so it wouldn't dump out in my pocket .
i love that he's uncircumcised. it makes handjobs so much easier. it's the lazy susan of penises.
So one buddy got tackled at the urinals by national guard members and was arrested. Another had sex in a port o potty with possibly the drunkest girl I've ever encountered. The rest of us blacked out and won a few bets. So yes, the derby did meet our expectations.
she called me a fuckfaceshitdick. not that's creative. it sounds like a crayola crayon, preferrably an orange-brown shade.
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They were fighting, but then they bumped into the bong and it shattered. After that they just hugged and cried.
I have no idea what's going on.... I just want to wear my horse sweatshirt and drink vodka.
On my way back to his place to see his "art". Why am I sure this is going to be nothing more than his dick in a box?
Did you bedazzle the elevator?
Hey girl, do you remember you made me brush your hair with a plastic fork on Saturday night?
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About to be a 4Loko vomit fountain in 45 seconds, what color will it be? Animated birds will fly out of me.
I'm about to have a bowl of Advils... without any fucking milk.
Geez don't go to a bar for a few days and everyone freaks out.
Can I drink yet?
It's Monday morning.
Your point?
I'm just waking up. I awoke in a towel (I must have showered at some point),i also found a half eaten McChicken in my bed and vomit in the toilet. Seems like I'm winning at life
just got back. in my inebriated state i broke an ugly lamp and was sent to the store (still drunk) to get a new one. just spent last half hour in isle 3 of dollar general surounded by more ugly lamps and trying not to throw up on each and every single one.
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