dude, best porn name ever, "the Hunt for Red Cocktober"
I thought this kinda shit only happens to ugly people
I woke up this morning with 2 australian chicks passed out in my living room, a whole bunch of coke on my kitchen counter and I have no idea how the fuck either thing got there
I wake up every morning and wish that I didn't have to wear a bra
she told me she sucks everyone's dick but mine because mine is too big and "hard to suck" i need to reevaluate the girls i fall in love with.
I've never heard a "this is the reason why i dont suck your cock" explanation go in that direction
please explain to me why there is a shopping cart in my living room.
ASIANS HAVE SEX TOO!! I just watched it happen in the library.
My grandpa just complimented my boobs. Im taking this as a compliment but also brushing it off as alcoholism on his part.
So at what point do I tell her that I like fucking these hot southern girls more than I like my relationship with her?
I mean I kinda plunged vagina first into my last relationship
Despite popular belief cocaine is not a good pre-workout
I was drunk and gave him my dad's phone number instead because somehow I thought that'd be funny. Man did that fucking backfire
I work 80 hours a week to prevent myself from just laying in bed and masturbating all day. It's a hands off strategy.
every day is bullshit and fuck everyone. That's my motto for the week
I wonder how many people saw me whip my junk out and bang it on the light post in front of holabird bar and liquors last night. I'm about tired of having to do that.
Nobody saw you except the people in the bar, because you weren't outside. You were inside, and you were smacking it on the mens bathroom door handle
I really hate whoever invented fireball.
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