I am apparently in rockville maryland. I just threw up my tater tots I had fro brunch in a safeway parking lot. Then ordered a pizza. Pepperoni and pineapple. I'm sitting in the parking lot, next to my barf, waiting for my pizza. WOOF. Someone just gave me an oxycontin tab. Can u come get me? I'm scared
We all just poured out a sip of our drinks for you. One for our pussy whipped homie.
I swear, if I find out you're lying, I'm going to put your name on one of those herpes watch websites and put the link up on every social networking site in existence.
That girl would be great looking if she lost 1000 pounds and cut off her head.
she was screaming in french about how classy it was to be drinking wine. oh... she was drinking it out of the bottle. with a beer in her other hand while throwing up.
I showered today. Officially upgrading myself to useless.
i do not condone bathtub ky wrestling
I mean, I'd wanted to go skinny dipping, hook up with him and have sex on a beach, so last night I basically killed 3 birds with one super slutty stone.
Just think. Tomorrow you'll wake up, shower, and get your brains fucked out. That's your ice cream. Today is your peas and carrots.
He was spooning with the dog when I came home. Now shes afriad to go near him. Should I ask?
Just FYI, by the transitive property my breasts have now touched the Stanley Cup.
How early is too early for a booty call on a Monday night?
Please don't tell me that blonde guys name is Matthew I won't be able to fuck a guy with my brothers name
I found the guy I hooked up with last night on Wikipedia, at least now I know how old he is.
You have ten minutes starting with this message to get here. Or I'm putting my clothes back on.
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