The Redheads category on Pornhub is my number 2 site behind facebook on google chrome. I think I have a problem
I smell stomach acid.
i decided not to call her again when she started singing "goodbye my lover" as i was walking out the door..
i gave him the "yep, i was your girfriend's collegiate lesbian sex story" head nod
Company party. Just told vp "you look like a cat person"
oh my god. were standing in the kitchen and were chanting "EYEBROWS" and shaving peoples eyebrows. I have work tomorrow and want to keep my eyebrows.
Someone tried to flush pizza down the toilet. Well, at least tried to
But think about it. I could put her gold medal around my penis
Like an undercooked grilled cheese that got cold again. But hairy.
And there goes my desire for sandwiches. Forever.
Just do it. I grew some lady balls and did it last year. It's your turn. Time to show what you're made of. Hit it or quit it.
He literally said I should watch game of thrones while I was blowing him like is this the conversation you want to be having right now
I used my iced coffee to ice the bump on my head from last night
It was great. Except he kept asking me to lick his butthole, I was like firm no
While walking to class I was handed a red bull, condoms, and a mini bible. I love my school.
sorry about your sharpie. alex wanted to shave the left side of his body so he had me draw a line over him with a ruler
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